Probably every week this summer, I'd ask permission to go to Yna's house. More or less, my parents (or mostly my mom) have the impression that we'll do nice stuff: play computer games, eat, watch a movie, talk, bake or play cards. My mom had this hunch that I go somewhere to drink, but she never found out where, and when, until now.
I went to my home town of Las Pinas and went friend hopping. Meeting with one group of friends, and then to the other.
With one group, Dean, a friend-bandmate talked about his ex-girlfriend. About licking her cunt in motels, about her Chinese ex-boyfriend who claims that his parents have allowed him to date Filipinas, about a night they spent drinking booze you barely thought was alcoholic, about how'd great it'd be if she were in the band, and about how he plans to come back to her. He meshed emotional drunkenness with a couple of glasses of beer and some nasty shots of raw rum. We ended our time together by walking in the rain, him still talking about her. At one point, I told him, keep talking about her while you still can. Tomorrow, you shouldn't. Why? It's an excercise, I stupidly answered. We walked up to the church so we'd pray for forgiveness. He pissed on a tree. He chased after a cat, and after humorously failing to catch it told us, "I miss eating pussy." He threw the rest of the booze onto sidewalks, walls and plots of grass. He held us, telling he loved us, and I told myself I'd never forget this. I took a bottlecap, remembrance.
With the other group, it was with Yna and my usual group of friends. Only this time, Nikki was around, and she taught as a couple of new drinks. After all, we needed something new after we've been drinking sprite vodka and beer (Well, I'm the only who drinks it.) all the time. On the trip to get the stuff for the cocktails, they were all joking about sex. (Yes, Sinangag Express.) We did our usual things of playing card games: pusoy dos, go fish, crazy eights and if we wanted to, we could've played bullshit. We watched a couple of funny videos on You Tube: the wiener dance, the yes dance, Yu-Gi-Oh abridged, urban ninja and Dr Tran. I had to hurry up, because I promised the previous group of friends I'd hang with them again. (Mostly because we thought a lady friend of ours would come; she didn't.) I had to leave after helping them have sex. Err, buy from Sinangag Express. I missed out on cookies and eating with them, but hey, I got a hug as consolation. I took a bottlecap too, remembrance.
And yes, I forgot to talk about my mom, up to this point.
(At this point, I have to apologize. Whenever I begin to talk about my family, especially my mother, it just seems like suddenly, a headache suddenly comes into my head, and then everthing becomes a blur.)
She got pissed. I took too long. I was supposed to be back by eight. I got there by eleven. She took the wheel from me, and drove as fast as hell. I was clutching onto seatbelts, a little scared. When things began to slow down, she began to sermon me. Everything she said, I was able to rebutt, or at least, soften. To some point, I've already programmed myself to answer to every one of her sentences, but it all just happens in my mind, and the only response she'd usually get is stiff silence, with the occasional 'yes' or 'no.' Yes, after she blazed through the streets of Makati, fuming mad, in my mind, I didn't care.
Well, until she found those remembrances.
(And here's where everything becomes a blur.)
She storms into the condo, putting the bottlecaps on the table and asking me for an explanation. I mumbled that we (lie) drank them at Yna's. (She didn't know I'd meet Dean.) She asks me who taught me to drink, and she bangs on the door and shouts at the maid (who used to be a frequent alcoholic), accusing her of teaching me how to drink. I go to my room, and I fall to the floor, back against my cabinets. I close my eyes, and for a moment, I was caught in a void, where muffled voices and bangs could be heard. I locked my door, but she got the key and opened it. She asked me more questions, this time, more angrily. I go out of my void. A part of me asks, why'd you go out? Question after question after question; the easy ones answered, the hard ones received with silence. She asks me something. I knew that if I'd answer it truthfully, that if I let out those simulated conversations in my mind, I'd win. I wouldn't win against her, but I'd win something. And so I do, and it silences her. Barado, maybe. And then she begins again, and things begin to slow down. (Somewhere in between these events, I was trembling to answer why I wouldn't tell her things and ask permission; it all goes back to that night when I suggested something, and she banged the car furiously, angrily--and I was just paralyzed. Forgive me if I can't remember. As I say, some things are blurry.) The conversation ends with her as meek as a lamb.
After washing up, I come up to her room and apologize, and she answers, in a gentle voice. And now I wonder, what'd I win?
I went to my home town of Las Pinas and went friend hopping. Meeting with one group of friends, and then to the other.
With one group, Dean, a friend-bandmate talked about his ex-girlfriend. About licking her cunt in motels, about her Chinese ex-boyfriend who claims that his parents have allowed him to date Filipinas, about a night they spent drinking booze you barely thought was alcoholic, about how'd great it'd be if she were in the band, and about how he plans to come back to her. He meshed emotional drunkenness with a couple of glasses of beer and some nasty shots of raw rum. We ended our time together by walking in the rain, him still talking about her. At one point, I told him, keep talking about her while you still can. Tomorrow, you shouldn't. Why? It's an excercise, I stupidly answered. We walked up to the church so we'd pray for forgiveness. He pissed on a tree. He chased after a cat, and after humorously failing to catch it told us, "I miss eating pussy." He threw the rest of the booze onto sidewalks, walls and plots of grass. He held us, telling he loved us, and I told myself I'd never forget this. I took a bottlecap, remembrance.
With the other group, it was with Yna and my usual group of friends. Only this time, Nikki was around, and she taught as a couple of new drinks. After all, we needed something new after we've been drinking sprite vodka and beer (Well, I'm the only who drinks it.) all the time. On the trip to get the stuff for the cocktails, they were all joking about sex. (Yes, Sinangag Express.) We did our usual things of playing card games: pusoy dos, go fish, crazy eights and if we wanted to, we could've played bullshit. We watched a couple of funny videos on You Tube: the wiener dance, the yes dance, Yu-Gi-Oh abridged, urban ninja and Dr Tran. I had to hurry up, because I promised the previous group of friends I'd hang with them again. (Mostly because we thought a lady friend of ours would come; she didn't.) I had to leave after helping them have sex. Err, buy from Sinangag Express. I missed out on cookies and eating with them, but hey, I got a hug as consolation. I took a bottlecap too, remembrance.
And yes, I forgot to talk about my mom, up to this point.
(At this point, I have to apologize. Whenever I begin to talk about my family, especially my mother, it just seems like suddenly, a headache suddenly comes into my head, and then everthing becomes a blur.)
She got pissed. I took too long. I was supposed to be back by eight. I got there by eleven. She took the wheel from me, and drove as fast as hell. I was clutching onto seatbelts, a little scared. When things began to slow down, she began to sermon me. Everything she said, I was able to rebutt, or at least, soften. To some point, I've already programmed myself to answer to every one of her sentences, but it all just happens in my mind, and the only response she'd usually get is stiff silence, with the occasional 'yes' or 'no.' Yes, after she blazed through the streets of Makati, fuming mad, in my mind, I didn't care.
Well, until she found those remembrances.
(And here's where everything becomes a blur.)
She storms into the condo, putting the bottlecaps on the table and asking me for an explanation. I mumbled that we (lie) drank them at Yna's. (She didn't know I'd meet Dean.) She asks me who taught me to drink, and she bangs on the door and shouts at the maid (who used to be a frequent alcoholic), accusing her of teaching me how to drink. I go to my room, and I fall to the floor, back against my cabinets. I close my eyes, and for a moment, I was caught in a void, where muffled voices and bangs could be heard. I locked my door, but she got the key and opened it. She asked me more questions, this time, more angrily. I go out of my void. A part of me asks, why'd you go out? Question after question after question; the easy ones answered, the hard ones received with silence. She asks me something. I knew that if I'd answer it truthfully, that if I let out those simulated conversations in my mind, I'd win. I wouldn't win against her, but I'd win something. And so I do, and it silences her. Barado, maybe. And then she begins again, and things begin to slow down. (Somewhere in between these events, I was trembling to answer why I wouldn't tell her things and ask permission; it all goes back to that night when I suggested something, and she banged the car furiously, angrily--and I was just paralyzed. Forgive me if I can't remember. As I say, some things are blurry.) The conversation ends with her as meek as a lamb.
After washing up, I come up to her room and apologize, and she answers, in a gentle voice. And now I wonder, what'd I win?
Yeah what did u win?! :P
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